A Nigerian cleric, Bisi Adewale, has stirred conversations online after sharing his views on what he described as the most important responsibility of a husband in marriage.
Speaking in a viral video circulating on social media, the pastor argued that a man’s primary duty in marriage is neither financial provision nor expressing love to his wife.
Instead, he said the foremost responsibility is to serve as the spiritual leader of the family.
Marriage begins with spiritual leadership, pastor says
According to Adewale, many men focus on providing for their families and showing affection to their wives while neglecting their relationship with God.
“The first duty of a man in marriage is not to provide. The first duty of a man in marriage is not to love his wife,” he said.
He stressed that a husband must first become “a priest of the family,” noting that genuine love for a spouse can only flow from a strong relationship with God.
Warning against selfish love
The pastor further explained that a man who loves his wife without first loving God may eventually develop a self-centred approach to marriage.
“If you love your wife without loving God, very soon you will be wicked to that woman because you won’t even know how to love her,” he stated.
He added that such love could become demanding and selfish, potentially leading to emotional hurt within the relationship.
‘Seek God first’
Referencing biblical teachings, Adewale encouraged married men and those preparing for marriage to prioritise their spiritual lives.
“Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness, and every other thing shall be added,” he said.
He concluded by describing marriage as one of the blessings that follows a life centred on God, saying, “Marriage is other things added.”
Watch the video here…
“The first duty of a husband is not to love his wife” – Pastor Bisi Adewale tells his congregation
— Instablog9ja (@instablog9ja) June 16, 2026