A man identified as Onyango Otieno has opened up about the emotional pain of growing up in a home he says was not filled with love, sharing how his childhood experiences shaped his views on marriage, divorce and family.
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In a lengthy post on Facebook, Otieno said he envies people whose parents chose to leave abusive marriages rather than remain together at all costs.
He questioned religious teachings that discourage divorce, arguing that some religious leaders advise couples, particularly women, to remain in abusive relationships in the name of protecting their marriages.
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According to him, keeping a marriage together should not come at the expense of the emotional well-being of the people involved, especially children who have little or no say in their parents’ decisions.
Otieno also spoke about men and women who remain in unhappy marriages because they fear society’s judgment or losing the family they had hoped to build.
Reflecting on his own childhood, he said he never experienced the kind of happy family life in which parents genuinely care for each other and their children.
He added that he envies people who can call their parents simply to laugh, share stories and ask about each other’s day without every conversation turning into a family problem or a request for money.
Otieno said he has come to accept that he may never experience that kind of parental care, adding that he is learning to find happiness among people who genuinely love him.
In his words:
“I envy children whose parents left an abusive marriage instead of trying to make it work at all costs.
Even with the Christian teaching about God hating divorce, it’ll never make sense to me why many religious leaders advise partners (especially women) to stay in abusive unions to make God happy.
God must be a sadistic psychopath who loves pain if that’s the case. He loves seeing children suffering in dysfunctional homes because apparently marriage is so important it must be protected by whatever means even when people are dying in it.
There are so many men afraid of leaving their marriages. They’re struggling with depression but do not have the courage to show it or tell anyone. They’re tired. But what will society say? What happens to their dream of a big happy family?
There are so many women afraid of losing that title “wife” just because their aspirations of having a family must work in their heads even if they are unhappy.
In all this, the biggest casualties are the children who never have a say in what the adults decide.
How I wish I’d have experienced happy parents. I don’t know what that is like. I wonder how I was supposed to create a happy life if my parents have been stressed all my existence. Who was supposed to teach me taking care of myself if the parents I was given did not know how to care for each other?
I envy anyone who says they can call their father or mother and laugh on the phone. Their parents call to check up on them just because they love them. Not asking for money or solving some family dispute. Just to laugh and ask how their day was.
That has never happened to me. Greetings have always been followed by an issue. They were a prerequisite to something else and not the main thing.