Chibunna Stanley, the Nigerian comedian popularly known as Funnybone, has advised couples on how to understand themselves and their backgrounds to avoid issues that can create conflict.
According to the comedian, it is important for married individuals to understand their partner’s background and values, adding that couples often carry lessons from their family homes into their marriages, which can sometimes create conflict.
“There is no bad individual in that bad marriage. That man was good, that woman was good, but you’re coming from where you are carrying what you’re carrying from your foundation,” he said.
The 40-year-old also explained how backgrounds affect the behaviour a person brings into marriage. For example, he said, a man who grew up in a home where his father always had the final say might enter marriage expecting his voice to carry the same weight.
He gave a contrasting illustration: a woman who grew up in a home where her mother was more dominant, while her father often withdrew to maintain peace.
He noted that neither person in such a union is bad, as they are simply projecting the values they were instilled with into the relationship.
“This guy would constantly want his value and his voice to be heard. This girl wants her own value to shine. Now that doesn’t make her a bad person. They are both manifesting their values,” he said.
Funnybone advised couples to find common ground, give each other room to express themselves and have people who can hold them accountable.
He also disagreed with the idea that couples should simply be left alone to resolve their problems.
“I don’t take the popular quote that leave two adults to work it out. What do you know that you’re working out?” he said.
He added that having no one with enough authority to correct or guide a person can be dangerous in relationships, business and family.