A lady has explained why she has decided against becoming a wife or mother after witnessing what she described as years of maltreatment suffered by her mother.
The woman shared her experience while reacting to conversations encouraging women to return to traditional expectations of marriage and motherhood.
Lady recounts mother’s experience
According to her, her mother got married to her father at 16 and gave birth to her at 19. She later had four more sons.
She said witnessing her mother’s experiences profoundly influenced her views about marriage, motherhood and the traditional expectations placed on women.
She said she prayed and cried to God while she was still a Christian, asking not to become like her mother.
The lady said she would rather resemble her father than experience the life her mother endured, despite describing her father negatively.
She said her mother had little or no support system, which she believes contributed to her remaining in the situation.
Describing her mother as an “enabler”, she said the woman endured repeated mistreatment and continued hoping for a change that never came.
She recalled having to help clean blood from her mother’s body after she was allegedly assaulted.
The lady said her mother repeatedly cried, prayed and hoped for a better situation before her death at the age of 45.
Speaking about her decision not to marry or have children, she said:
“I’m not going to be anybody’s wife, neither am I going to be anybody’s mother, as long as this life is concerned. But I had the mother and I also have friends who are going to be wives and mothers. So I’ll drop my one cent that nobody asked for.”
She further explained that her mother’s experience shaped her fears about becoming a wife or mother.
“I had a mom and she got married to my dad when she was 16. She had me when she was 19. And then she had four more boys through the years.”
The lady said she had previously prayed against experiencing a similar life.
“All I can say on this topic is, I literally prayed and cried to God when I was still a Christian. It did not work. The prayer and the crying did not work.”
She recalled the specific prayer she made during that period.
“What was my prayer point? My prayer point was like, I swear that God should please arrest me and don’t let me be a woman like my mother. I would rather be like my father a billion times, if I have to be, than for me to be like my mother. And why? I don’t want to be like my dad though.”
‘She endured a whole lot of shit’
The lady said she viewed her mother as an enabler because she lacked adequate support.
“My dad is, no, no, no, no. But you see my mom, I call my mom an enabler. And my mom was an enabler because she had zero support.”
She said she was unaware of what happened to her mother’s support systems but believed the lack of support left her with limited options.
“I don’t know what happened to her support systems. I don’t know the story surrounding her support systems. It’s not clear.”
“I don’t get it till today, but she had no support systems that could actually help her. So she had to be an enabler. And oh my God, she enabled a whole lot of shit.”
Reflecting on what she witnessed as a child, the woman said her mother endured repeated physical abuse.
“She endured a whole lot of shit. I literally helped clean blood away from my mommy’s body. Like her back was bloodied several times.”
She added that her mother repeatedly cried and prayed for things to change.
“I, several times. Several times that woman sat in tears and in crying, crying and crying and praying and praying and hoping for a change that did not come. The woman is dead now.”
The woman said her mother died at 45 and questioned messages encouraging women to emulate previous generations of wives and mothers.
“Died when she was 45 fucking years old. And you want to sit down there in front of your podcast telling women that women need to return back to how our mothers used to be. This is just my mom.”
She concluded by saying she had heard similar stories from other people and questioned what version of motherhood women were being encouraged to embrace.
“I’ve come to know one or two other persons and oh, the stories they have to tell. So what mothers are you trying to tell us to be?”
Watch the video here…
Lady shares why she won’t become a mother or wife after witnessing her mum endure years of m@ltreatment from her father pic.twitter.com/FxF2MZSvaI
— Instablog9ja (@instablog9ja) September 1, 2026