A Nigerian lady has sparked a wave of reactions online after narrating her unpleasant experience at her boyfriend’s family house, where she was asked to cook and wash dishes during a visit.
Double Standards in Treatment
The lady, identified as Chisom Bethel on TikTok, compared the way her boyfriend was treated at her family house with how she was received at his.
According to her, when he visited her home, her mother personally cooked for him, her father bought him drinks, and her siblings cleared and washed his plates—treating him like a guest.
“I want to get something straight. You came to my house, my mummy cooked for you, I even accompanied her in the kitchen, and when you were done eating, my siblings washed your plates. We treated you like the guest you were, like Igwe,” she said.
However, her own experience at his family home was different. She claimed that his mother asked her to cook for the entire household and later wash all the plates used.
“But when I came to your house, your mama asked me to go into the kitchen and cook what everyone would eat. Later, you looked at me to carry all the plates everybody used and wash them, as per house girl?” she added.
“I Am Not Wife Material”
In her viral video, Chisom said that she would not conform to the traditional expectations of being considered “wife material” by enduring suffering.
She argued that many Nigerian men are raised to believe women must shoulder hardship in relationships, often reinforced by their mothers.
“It’s in your house I realized that wickedness is normal to you. Nonchalance too. Because we don’t really send you for here. I know Igbo men do this a lot, where being a ‘wife material’ is measured by the amount of suffering and pain a woman can endure. The woman who endures the most is tagged wife material,” she said.
She also stated that she refuses to conform to these expectations. “Brotherly, let me use this opportunity to tell you I am not wife material. Even in my house, I don’t wash my own clothes, so I cannot come and do it for you or your mother. Whether outside marriage or inside marriage, you need to rethink this.”
“Now I see why many men treat women so poorly. It’s because they were raised to believe all suffering belongs to women, especially by their mothers. At the end of the day, it’s like your mama is the one you’re marrying because we no really send you here,” she added.
Chisom further stated that until her boyfriend and his mother apologized, she had no intention of continuing the relationship under those terms.
Reactions Online
Her video quickly went viral, with users flooding the comments to share their thoughts.
See below;
@chisombethel2 We no send you for here#wicked #selflove
♬ original sound – Very wicked Abia girl🫦🦂